Choosing And Naming Man’s Best Friend

We’ve seen it too many times…the bloke in the park chasing after a Chihuahua and yelling out “ here Princess”.

We don’t want YOU to be that guy, therefore the LOM team pulled together to bring you THE guide to choosing and naming your dog like a man.

Follow this guide and keep your man-status in-tact!

Choosing a Breed

There are just TWO categories of dogs in a Man’s world.

Medium and Large.

Forget the small dogs, they don’t count. If you really want a small dog but still want to be a Man, let your girl choose the small dog and pretend it’s hers, otherwise your mates will never forgive you!

Each category contains a handful of dogs, suitable for Men.

Small Dogs


Medium Dogs

American Cocker Spaniels




Large Dogs

German Shepherd

Labrador Retriever

Golden Retriever

Does He Fit Your Lifestyle?

Choose a dog to fit your lifestyle, if you live in a cramped one-bed apartment with no room to swing a cat, let alone a dog you want to avoid the ‘Large’ dog category.

If you work all day, come home and watch TV all night then a larger breed of dog would suit you more so than say a Cocker Spaniel. If however you lik to get out hiking and backpacking you should consider any of the medium dogs in the list above.

How To Choose A Dog Name

I’ve had a dog for just over a year now (English Cocker Spaniel). The truth is I put it off for years, spouting all kinds of reasons NOT to get one.

Work commitments, costs, messing up the house, affecting my social life, etc etc. When I finally did bite the bullet, what was the most difficult part?

Naming my new best friend!

You see, if you’re getting a dog, you need to treat the naming process as serious as if you would naming a child. You will have to call out his name in the park thousands of times…and you don’t want to sound like a douche!

Step 1 – Lists are not just for girls

In our article –  The Top 15 Apps For Men, we featured Evernote…because well..we love it. Head on over to and download the app for your Smartphone.

Done that?

Good, now you have a man’s way to make lists.

Use this app to gather a list of all the names you like the sound of. Don’t vet them at this stage, just make a big list for now.

Step 2 – The calling test

The calling test is simple. Get your Smartphone, set it to voice record and shout out one of your selected names.

Play that sucker back and if you have a slight inkling you sound stupid, you probably do. Skip it and move onto the next name.

Rinse and repeat.

Step 3 – Human Dog Names

To get you in the mood for this section, check out the hilarious video below of dogs that look like their owners, or is it owners that look like their dogs…?

Now that’s out of the way, we can talk about a popular trend amongst new dog owners, and that is to give their dogs a human name, such as “Dave the Dog”.

Human names really do work for dogs however there are some which sound plain ridiculous, so be careful!

Here are a selection of human names suitable for your best friend.

  • Dave
  • Hecter
  • Neil
  • Brian (think Family Guy!)
  • Sam
  • Henry
  • Luke

Step 4 – Most Popular Dog Names

Let’s face it, we hate following the crowd and we want something unique. We don’t want ten other dog walkers calling out “here Butch” and your dog go running off to them.

Here is a list of the most popular dog names. We recommend you avoid these and be unique. After all each dog has its own character and the name should suit that character.

Names To Avoid

  • Max
  • Bella
  • Rocky
  • Bailey
  • Molly
  • Lola
  • Buddy
  • Harley
  • Zoe
  • Jake
  • Lucky

Step 5 – Cool Dog Names

  • Oscar
  • Rusty
  • Dakota
  • Duke
  • Baxter (Ron Burgundy can’t be wrong!)
  • Louie
  • Samson

Step 6 – Worst Dog Names (from a Man’s perspective)

  • Butch
  • Bruno
  • Chappie
  • Rocky
  • Bear
  • Pepper

Sorry if you’ve named your dog one of these names already! :-s

So there you have it, the LOM guide to choosing and naming Man’s best friend. If you follow these 6 simple steps you will be well on your way to a dog that suits your lifestyle and one that will have a great name. You will have him for years so be choose wisely!

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